Stuck: On Pause

I want to write but cannot. I want to paint but have not. I want to live deliberately but cannot. These are the doldrums. No wind. No movement ruffling underneath the sails. Quiet. Remote. Still waters. Heavy, oppressive air. Five days of rainy, gloomy weather last week contributed thus to the sense of inactivity and lack of achievement. This too shall pass. This feeling must become momentary for this early morning at the beginning of the week.

 Internet Fair Use - The Doldrums at the Horizon

Gustave Dore characterized the feeling well in the shipboard doldrums below:

Internet Fair Use - The Doldrums on Board Ship

Coleridge wrote:

"Day after day

Day after day

We stuck, nor breath nor motion

As idle as a painted ship

Upon a painted ocean."

I kept at Duty last week doing the things I must do at this juncture in my life's Journey. This also is part of the activity at the equator. Where the interconnected northern and southern winds and currents lay idle. Passing from one hemisphere of activity to the next. I continue to feel Grief. Amidst thoughts of loved ones lost.

Internet Fair Use - Grief 01

After business hours, I search the web for inspiration. Images. Text. People. Energy. But I can summarize when I say that, for me, the web is not the place to center oneself.  I find and discover this again and again. I am dismayed at the trite phrases and quotes that are promulgated about the meaning of life, happiness, and motivation. Philosophies, of course, differ. I think many of the expositions are truisms. There is some truth in there somewhere. But overall, it is all so trite and empty. At least for me in this moment.

I have also reviewed many of the old websites I have collated over the past few years. I remember a few years ago that I hadn't even reviewed any blogs or websites. It was a rarity for me. I think the common themes for most of them upon recent review was that I admired each of the web sites and bloggers for

• Doing what they love to do
• Finding their passion and making it happen
• Discovering and uncovering meaning in their lives
• Branding themselves
• Expressing themselves
• Being themselves
• Energy, enthusiasm, ingenuity, innovation, dedication, persistence
• Producing, not consuming

Many have stopped publishing since the 2011-2013 time frame. Some of them don't even say why. They just stopped. Some of the most creative and entertaining folks which is surprising to me. Many sites don't hold the pizazz and inspiration I must have seen in my first impression. So the links are being deleted one by one. I have the sense that life moved on for these folks. There was a time to share and a need to share. Something changed.

Internet Fair Use - Life is a Roller Coaster

So, for today, for this early morning, I am feeling just Stuck On Pause. The proper response to that dilemma...

 Internet Fair Use - Forget and Move On

...is to start walking...one step at a time. Change. The Daily Walk. Time to start the day and the week.