The Mid-life Crisis Checklist: What now? What's next?

Charlie Vensel lists seven warning signs that I may be having a male midlife crisis:

1. Persistent Dissatisfaction. Just not happy. Check.

2. Inauthenticity. What happened to the person I used to be? A feeling of having drifted and not being true to my genuine self. Check.

3. Insignificance. I dream of more. Am I just sitting in the chair? Do I feel like I am not making a difference? Check.

4. Shallow Commitments. Depressed at status quo. Trying to recommit to important things and stay the course. Trying to not commit to new things. Rehearsing duty and obligation. But discouraged. Check.

5. Relational Tension. Everyone around me doesn't understand what I am going through and how I am feeling. They are so familiar with me so they can ignore me. This life change of mine affects everyone around me. Check.

6. Leaking. Bored to tears. Trying to contain frustration or angst. Reaching out. Trying to share the journey. Venting to significant others around me. Often isn't constructive. Check.

7. Recapturing Youth. Revert to what worked when I was younger. Hard work. Persistence. Focus. Values. Check.

So there are "good" ways to react? And "bad" ways to react? Three paths to consider. Three choices recommended.

A. Recapture What Worked. Return to the ways of thy youth. May not be the complete solution. Beware of immature or off-limit choices though.

B. Focus on Known Competencies. Dig in. Tough it out. Suck it up. Beware of stubbornness and rigidity as symptoms. Watch for bitterness and anger as a side effect. Beware of vices as an accommodating binge. Avoid the blame game towards others.

C. Grow and Change. Awaken. Mature. Move forward. Answer the call. Maintain self-control and self-discipline. It's about Doing. Duty and obligation. It's about Being and Becoming. Motivated about living and passion. What is it that stirs me but has not been expressed before? Of all the perceived options, select and move towards the best, most authentic things. Manage fear of change and fear of very different and fear of unknown. Beware of radical change. But don't get stuck in the transition and renewal.

Or maybe a little of A, B, and C to round out the portfolio. So Charlie advises:

• Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat well, rest, and do some things just for fun. Can do better. Check.
• Journal about what you are thinking, feeling, and sensing. Check.
• Find someone with whom to mentor and be coached who has successfully been down the path before. Kind of Checked.
• Find someone to hold you accountable to maintain balance. Kind of Checked. 
• Finish well. The jury is still out. To be determined.