The Brothers: An Artful Dialog

One of the last artful dialogs I had with my best friend, Bob Cassidy, before he passed away last year was about an engraving.  I think he had purchased a copy somewhere and wanted to know more about it. It must have been appealing to him.  He called me and inquired about the print. Verbally, he mentioned that Vogel was on the left side, and Wallis was on the right side of the print and that it was entitled "The Brothers". I indicated that one was the artist and one was the engraver.

Internet Fair Use - The Brothers by Vogel

He wanted to know what it was worth. After a little online investigation. I was able to determine that the current asking price was $20 - $60 in good condition and provide him more detail information about the print.

"The Brothers" by Christian Leberecht Vogel was engraved by R. [Robert] Wallis. The method of print was a genuine engraving on steel, printed on high quality heavy stock paper; published by Selmar Hess, NY 1888, signed in plate. The image dimensions were 8.7/8" wide x . 6.3/4" high in landscape orientation. The paper size is 12.1/2"wide x 9.1/8" high. It shows a chiascuro background and foreground, two adolescent brothers reviewing a book, one with stylus in hand, one looking off into the distant view, bathed in light.

Christian Leberecht Vogel [4 April 1759, Dresden - 6 April 1816, Dresden] was a German painter, draughtsman, and writer on art theory. His pupils included Louise Seidler, and he was the father of the court painter and art professor Carl Christian Vogel.

Robert Wallis [Nov. 7, 1794 - Nov. 23, 1878], was an English engraver and assistant of Charles Heath [1785–1848]. He was taught by his father, and became one of the ablest of the group of supremely skillful landscape-engravers who flourished during the second quarter of the nineteenth century.

Bob was in constant pain during his last days but his art kept him going each day. I surmise that he appreciated the detail in the engraving as an influence to his scratch-board art which he had been executing for a few years. I suggested to him that since he had a copy and I had a rendition, that we each should re-appropriate and re-interpret the original in our own art methods and share our results with each other. He agreed.  But it was not to be. Shortly before he died, I received the engraving in the mail. I was surprised upon its receipt. It was a quiet, personal act from him to me.

Although he didn't say as much, I like to think that the engraving depicts us, two brothers in dialog about art and life and comparing notes across the country on a weekly, sometimes daily basis.

I was emotionally touched by these last interchanges.

Internet Fair Use - The Brothers (Detail)

Our very last phone discussion was about creating miniature artwork each together.

Internet Fair Use - The Brothers (Detail)

I treasure these last discussions as Living the Moment. I appreciate Bob's example of the Daily Walk, in the Creative Pursuit and the Artistic Endeavor.  I think Art was the Life Force for Bob.

All Paintings Have a Story: This One Returns to Me Most Surprisingly!

Once upon a time...(all good stories start that way), I went to a flea market...(this has got to be a great story)....

My daughter, Rachel and I, went to Brimfield Flea Market in Massachusetts this year in May 2016. We arrived way too early. Even before the vendors woke up and unfurled their tents.

Original Photo - Copyright James E. Martin 2016
Rachel at Brimfield Early Morning

Rachel had some furniture items on her wishlist list to outfit a new apartment. I didn't buy too much this particular trip. Rachel tracked our walking that day and we trekked 18 miles! We passed and gazed at a lot of dealer tables and booths.  With serendipity, I did happen upon a painting that caught my eye halfway down a booth's aisle under a tent that I negotiated down to $25. I wasn't impressed with the frame. The dealer did not know much about the painting other than he had bought it at a yard sale.

Original Photo - Copyright James E. Martin 2016
Raggedy Ann and Teddy

I am always on the lookout for paintings and this one caught my eye because of the impressionistic style but most notably because of the signature flourish. It was very similar to the flourish that my best friend, Bob Cassidy, would use to address his Christmas card to me over the years.

Original Photo - Copyright James E. Martin 2016
Michael J. Cassidy Signature Flourish

I also knew that Bob, had a brother, Michael Cassidy. I wasn't sure of Michael's middle initial, though. And the subject matter didn't seem to be representative of content that Michael may have chosen. I had, however, a self-portrait of Michael's that Bob had given me years earlier with a similar impressionistic style. I could compare the paintings. So I took a chance on the purchase. I hoped to share the picture with the family and determine Michael's middle initial and if anyone had any recollection of this painting.

We met Betty Cassidy at the summer camp in Maine in mid-July. It was so good to visit with her at camp this first summer after Bob's passing.

Original Photo - Copyright James E. Martin 2016 
Discussing the Painting with Betty Cassidy

Betty only had a small, vague, remote feeling that the painting might be Michael's. She wasn't able to confidently assert much about the picture initially. She wasn't absolutely sure of Michael's middle initial. But she recommended we talk with Joanne, the oldest daughter of Lee and Edie Stone, our Maine friends for many years. Betty went to visit with Joanne and told her about the painting.

Joanne recalled the painting and knew it had hung in the Little Red Schoolhouse in Dover-Foxcroft, Maine for a time before its closing in 2001. Which explains the child-appropriate content of the painting.

The summer camp that Bob and I built for his family was on a lake in upper Central Maine surrounded by the towns of Sangerville, Dover-Foxcroft, Guilford, Dexter, and Garland. Bob was a professor of speech and language pathology and had practiced early in his career in the area before moving to Illinois and marrying Betty.

His very first speech and language client in Maine was Jayne Stone. Bob had become close friends with Jayne's parents, Lee and Edie Stone over the years. Lee was a WWII veteran, local farmer, and retired from the Dexter Shoe Factory. Edie was the town manager for Garland, Maine for many years.

Original Photo circa 1978 Courtesy of Cassidy Family

Lee Stone, Edie Stone, Jayne Stone, Greg Cassidy, Kim Cassidy, and Betty Cassidy

One of the passionate causes that Bob Cassidy and Edie Stone had during those early years was the parent-run, community-based Little Red Schoolhouse in Dover-Foxcroft. which closed in 2001. Bob had asked his brother, Michael, an accomplished amateur artist whose creativity Bob admired, to paint a picture for the schoolhouse in those earlier years. The painting, "Raggedy Ann and Teddy", hung in the schoolhouse for some time when Jayne Stone was younger and attending the school.

Also, Joanne recalled that her Mom, Edie Stone, had retained the painting in her home for a time after that school installation. Perhaps Edie reclaimed the painting from the schoolhouse once Jayne graduated. According to Joann, and Bob's kids, Kim and Greg, they all remembered the painting at Lee and Edie's Garland farmhouse.

In the early years, when I was helping Bob build the camp buildings as an undergraduate student, Jayne had a surprising teenage crush on me. I had hair back then.

Original Photo 1978 Courtesy Cassidy Family

Jim the Builder

She and I were of a similar age but I was dating someone else at school so I wasn't available! But I remember being embarrassed and rather awkward at responding to her attentions! Once she met my then girlfriend, Ruth, (now my wife), she was not very kind to her rival at first! We have many blessed and humorous memories of these folks over the years.

Joann indicated that Bob Cassidy had asked for the Raggedy Ann painting sometime after Edie's retention of it to give back to his brother, the artist. Edie returned the painting to Bob. Bob returned it to his brother. Michael J. Cassidy later died in the midwest, in Ohio I think, in 1994, and, allegedly, according to Betty, many of his belongings were sold at a yard sale, which was a plausible disappointment to Bob at the time. And resulted in the "loss" of the painting for a time.

Betty was cleaning at the camp later in the week of our 2016 summer visit and found a painting turned upside down on the floor of the camp. Lo and behold, a Michael J. Cassidy abstract impressionistic painting! What a confirmation opportunity!

 

Original Photo Copyright James E. Martin 2016

Untitled Abstract Impressionism by Michael J. Cassidy

Replete with a comparable signature!

 

Original Photo Copyright James E. Martin 2016

Michael J. Cassidy Signature Flourish

Later in the week of our visit, we unexpectedly met Joann at the local shopping mecca, Renee's in Dexter, Maine. After joyous hugs and hellos, I ran out to the van to get the painting. When Joann saw it, she said with a smile on her face, "Yup, that's it!"

Original Photo - Copyright James E. Martin 2016 

Betty and Joanne Affirming the Painting's Heritage to Jim

You can see my happiness in the moment at completing the story, the history, and the reunion of this painting!

We had a funeral service in July 2016 for Bob Cassidy, my friend of 38 years, in Derry, New Hampshire, where he grew up. He was interred at the Cassidy family plot.

Original Photo - Copyright James E. Martin 2016 
July Graveside Service for Robert D. Cassidy in Derry NH

I had a chance to visit with his spouse, Betty, and his kids, Greg and Kim the night before the service. The kids were amazed and excited about the story of the painting as we continued to formulate the story of its heritage and re-discovery.

Michael J. Cassidy's (1930 - 1994) gravestone is on the family plot in Derry, NH. He was the artist for the painting "Raggedy Ann and Teddy".

Original Photo - Copyright James E. Martin 2016 
Grave Marker for Michael J. Cassidy II 

So...this painting means a lot to me in that it wraps up many memories and recollections over the last 38 years:

• Bob Cassidy as speech and language pathology professor and clinician in Illinois and Maine
• Bob's intended respect to his brother and his request for the painting's creation
• Bob's love and respect for family and family values...and for art; The installation at the schoolhouse for a time was highly valued by Bob and Edie
• Michael J. Cassidy, brother of my best friend, and artist, who I never met personally, but he had the same flourish in his signature as Bob did; He also used brown and orange in the painting, Bob's favorite colors in artistic usage - which might have facilitated Bob's perception of the painting's details considering his color-blindness...an interesting side anecdote
• Jayne Stone and her unusual, cute, giggly, teenage crush on  me
• Lee and Edie Stone retaining the painting after its installation at the Little Red Schoolhouse in Dover-Foxcroft and placing it in their Garland, Maine farmhouse
• Bob's requesting the return of the painting so he could return it to his brother, the artist
• Sun-struck Fourth of July's at a picnic table laden with lobster, corn-on-the-cob, chowder, and clams, each and every year, full of stories and smiles, with all these folks mentioned in this blog entry
• Central Maine summer jaunts in Dexter, Garland, Guilford, Sangerville, and Dover-Foxcroft
• Bob and I building the camp buildings for fellowship with friends over the years....his initial dream realized
• Visits with friends, and friends of friends, at camp
• A college professor, named Bob, and one of his undergraduate students, named Jim, met in Maine to remodel a summer camp for the professor. There was lots of sun, some swimming in a cold, clear lake, some beer drinking, some fishing, some telling of tales, lots of laughs, some philosophy of life dialog, some destruction of the old camp, and some building of the new, and an unfolding of relationships through the years
• Emotions and tears welling up in me since my friend, Bob, has completed his earthly toils
• Amazement at finding this painting at this time in these places
• Reconstructing the heritage and story of this painting with dear friends and family who remain behind...Joanne and her husband Peter, Betty, Kim, and Greg
• Summers in Maine all these years with all my girls (Ruth, Rachel, Anna, and Rebekah)

Just thinking on things, as the memories and blessings come full circle within this painting.

Original Photo circa 1978 - Courtesy of the Cassidy Family

Betty Surveying the Construction Work While Jim Contemplates Deep Thoughts

It is quite a Jaunt to go to undergraduate school in Illinois, meet Bob Cassidy and his family and friends in Maine, meet my wife, have a family, get together with folks in Maine all these 38 years, go to Brimfield in 2016, find this one painting among the tens of thousands of objects there in the aisles, travel it back to its home country in Maine, reconstitute its heritage, and have it return to my hands where I can appreciate its simplicity and its depth in honor of Bob Cassidy and his love of art.

We built some buildings. And a lot of friendships and a lot of memories, Bob. This one is an amazing part of the continuing saga.

Original Photo circa 1978 - Courtesy of the Cassidy Family

Jim and Bob Building at the Summer Camp

A painting always has a story. This one is pretty darn amazing to me. It wasn't just about Raggedy Ann and Teddy at its face value, was it?

Grief: The Process

Grief is about loss. In the context of this study, I am thinking of the loss of my Aunt Elaine and my Uncle Jim from North Carolina nine years ago. Also, I lost my mom due to cancer this past summer in June. Also, I am working my way through a transition on the employment front so there is a sense of loss there about the past work environment and issues surrounding it, the loss of friends and acquaintances at work, the loss of livelihood, and the temporary loss of a sense of duty, activity and achievement. Some folks close to me have indicated more than once as they go through their grieving, that it is an individual thing and different for each one of us.

There are a number of diagrams online outlining the grief process or the stages we go through to resolve our grief. At a simple, high level, they seem to be (a) Denial, (b) Anger, (c) Bargaining, (d) Depression, and (e) Acceptance. In this simple model, it appears that one has to go through a lot of negative stuff to get to the acceptance part. Perhaps if there is not a lot of bad stuff in life related to the loss, there might be less denial, less anger, and less bargaining and negotiation to go through. In my case, I guess that means I can head straight to the blues!

 Internet Fair Use - Five Stages of Grief

The next model shows some emphasis on the unrealistic changes associated with the loss like shock, disbelief, rehearsing mental scenarios, and fears and doubts associated with the loss. This is not to deny our feelings as not real. But for myself, I know that how I think and feel about things is different than how things actually are. This model also exemplifies well some of the practical issues that arise during the "survival" phase of the grief process. As doubt creeps in, symptoms such as guilt, rejection, wasted time, shame, emotional swings, a crisis of values, inferred and actual blame, isolation, loss of trust, physical and mental fatigue, unfinished tasks, and a change in daily routines become part of Living in the Moment. This model doesn't focus much on the Reorganization phase to get us back into the acceptance of the loss but it hints at things like focusing on the positive, finding meaning, rebuilding the Self, creating new routines, and finding purpose in what we do. OK, so I am in the Survival phase, acknowledging my path forward, and already have a sense of what it will take to reconstitute. Maybe.

Internet Fair Use - Surviving Through Grief

This model makes some sense to me in that during the survival phase, one's mind plays tricks on itself, rehearsing old conversations, things that didn't get done, things that were done poorly, things that could have been done differently, dialogs and differences between the parties, unresolved commitments, etc. There is a lot of repetition and rehearsal in quiet self-talk that occurs. Early on in the grief process I can see that the self-talk is healthy because it identifies the content and feelings of concern. Moving forward though, the repetition and rehearsal of the past can become a bad thing because it doesn't focus on the positive outlook for the future.

The next model speaks to me about two things: (1) breaking attachments related to bonds of the ideal image of the lost one and (2) the "disorganization" aspect of grief whereby we have a sense of sadness, hopelessness, and meaninglessness. For me, this appears to be the clash of values as it relates to a sense of the Self. This entire blog is about the Artistic Endeavor, and the Creative Pursuit. It is about the personal vulnerability surrounding the process of uncovering and revealing Self. It is about Being and Becoming.

Internet Fair Use -  Grief Graph

Particularly as we change from the "disorganized" phase to the "organized" phase of grief, we are resolving our world-view and perspective and releasing from the "bonds of the ideal image" of things lost and attaching to the practical working out of reality as it is in the Daily Walk in a new reality. This change process is allowing the former self to be cast off and the new person to be reborn, so to speak. Seems to be even more of the message about how we are dying every day while we are alive. Change and renewal. This is Living the Moment. This is living deliberately. But there might be some pain and discomfort and depression associated with the mourning of the old self we shed and leave behind. And there may be some self-doubt and anxiety about the new person we are becoming. I suppose it is a type of fear. This is humanity.

This next model points towards some essential elements of the renewal process as we move away from grief.  In past times, I have asked the question "What changes first...Attitude or Behavior?"  I think the answer is they can both change at the same time. As individuals we have to manage our mental thoughts and attitudes and practice those behaviors that help us get to where we want to go. It becomes a self-discipline to do so.

Internet Fair Use - The Renewal Phases of Grief

I like this model for its emphasis on old and new attitudes. Change Denial to Acknowledgement. Change Bargaining and Doubt to Acceptance. Of the way things are in the period of loss or the way things can become in the future. Add the positive feelings of Forgiveness and Gratitude. Not just related to others but to ourselves as well. Cull negative thoughts that hold us back or drag us down. Affirm the new state, the new path, the new destination as it is uncovered. Affirm the new Self.

But it's a roller coaster ride as we transition through our grief and become a new person with a new reality. The events around us, as they unfold, affect our feelings and emotions. We have our up days and our down days.

Internet Fair Use - Phases of Grief Transition

The emphasis on this grief model is Exploring, Testing, and Transformation to build a reconstruction and recovery. I also like the anecdotes in this model where partial recovery is about letting go and releasing some issues and baggage along the way. It's about willfully forgetting some things and moving on. Also, Don't Ever Quit. There is a path to our Becoming. Only we are on it. Only we know it or can know it.  Never Give Up. Even though some days it may not be easy.

There may be factors about our grief that are different for you and I, as listed in the table below. These factors affect the depth of our grief and the nature of our recovery and reconstruction based on, to use my words, the level of Connectedness we have had with the object of our grief and loss. It is also about the level of our Connectedness to ourselves and the level of Connectedness to those around us that remain after the loss.

Internet Fair Use - Connectedness Factors Affecting the Depth of Grief

So part of the grief process is about remaining true to ourselves. And to who we are. And to who we are to become. I have used the terminology before but we should attempt to use our knowledge and experience of the loss as a potential Source and avoid allowing it to become a potential Drain. Our grief experience can become a Drain on our personal energy reserve. Or it can become a Source of our energy reserve to focus our Life Force in a new direction.

On the roller coaster of grief, there are negative and positive activities to which we can focus.

Internet Fair Use - The Roller Coaster of Grief

There are negative Drains that can bring us down and lengthen our recovery and reconstruction. We need to Decide in the moment to stop those negative emotions and thoughts. And then focus our Life Force on the positive Sources that get us back up the Wellness and Wholeness curve:

• Deciding on the right things
• Searching for the new
• Focused exploration
• Informed choices
• Focused study
• Problem solving
• Refining our purpose
• Finding new structures and paradigms
• Building hopes and dreams
• Increasing our internal commitment
• Testing
• Reattaching
• Getting excited and enjoying our satisfactions, our joys, and making our peace once again

I am not an expert in this stuff. I think the biggest limitation I see in these models is that the negative part of the grief process is about feelings. And it is being suggested that we replace those negatives with attitudes and behaviors and action plans. It just may not be that easily said and done.  Just thinking on things for my path forward.

Life is in the Blood: A Seven Year Journey

I am not an expert in today's subject matter. I am just a Journeyman. Just a storyteller and a witness along my path. From a particular perspective and world-view. Over the last seven years, part of my journey of self-discovery has been about my personal health.  I am dying.

But, dear Reader, that should not alarm you to any great extent. We all are. Every day, not just from the moment of conception, but from the Beginning. We are dying. From Adam. The first man. The Fall. It's been downhill ever since.

The Beginning
The Bewarning
The Beguilement
The Bewitching
The Becoming
The Bedevilment
The Banishment
The Bittering

So what is my story? Well, it's been a long time figuring things out. I ended up realizing in a physical sense, life is in the blood. We breathe in oxygen. We breathe out carbon dioxide. Our blood carries life-sustaining nutrients to our tissues and carries away the wastes and the toxins to our bodies. If we hold our breath or stop breathing, the pH of our blood turns acidic immediately, without oxygen, and loaded with carbon dioxide, creates carbolic acid. When we die, the body immediately starts to turn acidic.

Internet Fair Use - Acid-Alkaline Blood pH

The pH, or potential hydrogen, of any fluid indicates the concentration level of hydrogen ions. A neutral pH is 7. Higher, the fluid is alkaline. Lower, the fluid is acidic.

Internet Fair Use - Relative pH and Hydrogen Ion Concentration of Representative Fluids

Normal blood pH should operate in a narrow range of 7.35 - 7.45. Anything outside this small range indicates symptoms and disease. Blood pH much below 6.8 or much above 7.8 means that cells stop functioning and the person dies. Research indicates that unless the body is slightly alkaline, the cells, tissues, and body cannot heal itself. Amazing tidbits of information. But it has taken me a while to arrive at that knowledge in a personal, meaningful way.

Over the last seven years, I have had something increasingly wrong with me physically. It has been literally a Daily Walk. But there have been days when I could not walk. My blog icon shows my legs and feet in dungarees and hiking boots and raised up in repose. The first time I knew something was wrong was when I got out of bed one morning and fell on the floor. My legs would not sustain me. It had erratic symptoms.  It would come and go. Some days I would have to slide down the stairs on my butt to be safe. I had joint pain, leg and ankle pain, and bone pain. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would have frequent, routine chronic pain at a 5 - 6, occasional intense pain flareup at a debilitating ten. I couldn't exercise. I had to force myself to stretch the muscles, stretching into the pain but to little avail. The pain centers would migrate to different parts of the legs and feet. I would hobble about and sometimes have to use crutches. I would have redness, inflammation, and tenderness to the touch. I tried different shoes. Thicker socks.

Internet Fair Use - Gout and Inflammation

My dad had been diagnosed with gout at a fairly early age. Gout results from the buildup of uric acid crystals in the blood particularly in the foot joints. Dad has taken gout medication for years and then was able to eat his normal food selections. He has also had knee and hip surgery on his joints. I also thought that perhaps his condition was related to being a telephone worker and climbing telephone poles and worming his way through tight crawl spaces as an installer and repairman in his early career.  Maybe there was more to it now that I have done some research. I went to the doctor's to see if that gout-like history was manifesting in me. I did not have gout. There were no uric acid crystals in the blood. But what did I have?

Internet Fair Use -  Uric Acid Crystals in the Blood

Blood tests did reveal an acidic Ph in my blood. Acidic blood causes the red blood cells to clump together reducing their surface area, reducing their flow through the capillaries, reducing their ability to carry nutrients and remove toxins from cellular activity, and increasing the risk of clots.

Internet Fair Use - Uric Acid Heart Attacks

Conservatively, I chose not to use any medication and keep searching for the cause of my discomfort. I did research and started to use an anti-gout diet. Avoid things with purines, meat, seafood, beer, asparagus, mushrooms.

Internet Fair Use -  Acidic and Alkaline Bloods Cells

I drank a lot of natural black cherry juice, presumably the best remedy.  I experienced some minor occasional relief but not nearly enough.

I cut out most red meats, only having occasional chicken or fish. Mostly salmon. No seafood. No fried foods. No breads or wheat gluten.  No dairy products. No sweets or sugar. Stopped coffee and tea. Absolutely no foods or drinks with any corn syrup. Corn syrup or fructose seemed to be a particular inflammatory. No processed foods or fast foods.

On a trip to the mid-west to visit family, I stopped at a health food store for some vitamins or remedies against muscle cramps in my legs during the long driving periods. The lady working the store was a nutritionist and a Christian. When I described my symptoms, she asked if I was eating in accordance with my blood type. I had never heard of such a thing. She encouraged me to research it on the web. I was blood type A. She said, "Oh, you're a natural vegetarian!"  I was super-surprised and replied, "Say WHAT?!" Upon further research to her recommendation, I added a vitamin regimen and adjusted my diet even further and saw a bit more improvement but still not enough. That lady was a blessing to me because she started me on the path I needed to go. The doctors were not helping. They kept advising me to exercise to reduce my weight even further.

All they wanted to do when I couldn't walk was x-ray my feet and knees to see if I was arthritic by evaluating the distance between the bones or to see if I had a hairline fracture. No findings of either. I wanted to exercise to keep the weight down but couldn't frequently enough or rigorously enough because of the pain.

Internet Fair Use - Arterial and Venous Blood pH as a Result of Exercise

Exercise can reduce the pH of the blood making it more acidic. Perhaps due to an increase of lactic acid during muscle use. Oxygenated arterial blood is more alkaline then venous blood with lesser oxygen levels. Both become more acidic with increased exercise. And it takes longer to recover from exercise if the overall body constitution is acidic. It made it even more painful to exercise.

Upon further research, I understood there to be be two types of blood acidosis, respiratory and metabolic acidosis. I had to have one or the other or a combination. And the resultant pH could be in a range for each condition based on a blood nomogram for the conditions. I suspected metabolic acidosis overall but needed to rule out respiratory acidosis.

Internet Fair Use - Respiratory and Metabolic Acidosis Nomogram

My discomfort was worse in the morning so I postulated that perhaps I had sleep apnea, or breathing difficulties, and was not getting enough oxygen at night. If my blood turned increasingly acidic during the night with a lack of oxygen, I would have increased discomfort in the early morning. Heart attacks in one's sleep may occur due to lack of oxygen, increased heart rate or blood pressure due to acidosis, or increased acidosis of the system overall. Upon my requested testing, I did not have sleep apnea or a sleep disorder. I was advised by the doctor to continue losing weight which would improve the sleep cycle, though.

Metabolic acidosis is related to the body being unable to process food nutrients in a satisfactory manner. I was already taking vitamin supplements. The doctor had advised Vitamin D in particular. I was not seeing any improvement related to the vitamin supplements per se.  A friend gave me a circa 1970 book on acidosis. The friend recommended I find something more current though. The bottom line on its advice was to eat more vegetables. Particularly leafy greens.  With web research, I found further information on foods that are acid-producing and foods that are alkaline-producing. There were many different depictions and variations but generally one could ferret out the essential information on food sources and proper selection. I also took the position that I would have to experiment a little bit and determine what seemed right and proper for me as I measured my pH on a daily basis as well.

Internet Fair Use - Acid-producing and Alkaline-producing Foods 01

 Internet Fair Use - Acid-producing and Alkaline-producing Foods 02

Internet Fair Use - Acid-producing and Alkaline-producing Foods 03

Internet Fair Use - Acid-producing and Alkaline-producing Foods 04

Internet Fair Use - Acid-producing and Alkaline-producing Foods 05

Internet Fair Use - Alkaline-producing Foods 01

This clarified the previous diet recommendations for gout and for blood type and pushed my diet selections even further in a vegetarian direction. For six months this year, from January to June 2014, I basically went on a strict vegetarian diet. My super-foods became fresh spinach, kale, collard greens, chard, carrots, cucumbers, avocado, and lime juice.  My snack food was baby spinach leaves. Grapefruit was also recommended as alkaline-producing and I had three a day, one at each meal. I drank lots of water. Lots and lots of water. I walked 2 - 4 miles per day, this being the only exercise I could manage.

In addition to the alkaline-producing food recommendations, I bought some pH litmus paper in a health food store.

Internet Fair Use - Litmus Paper

I could measure my saliva pH and my urine pH. Green or blue and I was in an OK range. Yellow-green or yellow and I was too acidic. Before starting the alkaline-producing diet, I was always very acidic. I thought that an acidic urine was a good thing because the body was excreting the acids. Not so. If the body doesn't excrete the acids, it stores them in the fat tissue. Not a good thing. The body requires salts....sodium, potassium, calcium, and magnesium to buffer the acids in the body during normal metabolism and excrete them in the urine. Resulting in an alkaline urine pH. If it doesn't get the necessary salts in the diet, it robs the bones of calcium to get it. We build the calcium into the bones when we are younger. Once gone, it's gone. Leading to osteoporosis. Contrary to this knowledge, the doctors had been advising to reduce sodium salt in the diet as a heart healthy approach. An alkaline urine indicates that the body is working appropriately. Salts are required to combine with and buffer the acids. I added those four salts to my vitamin regimen. It also appeared frequently in the literature that all of the major diseases and health-related disorders come from and thrive in an acidic body environment: heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, cancer, immune deficiency, arthritis, hormone unbalance, pain, discomfort, organ degradation, joint pain, etc.

For six months, I went on a strict vegetarian diet. When folks asked, I told them I was on a special diet, "if it tasted good, spit it out!" It wasn't easy, especially at first. My breakfast was a huge salad. My lunch was a salad. My dinner was a salad. I had to determine how much spinach to eat to move the body pH in an alkaline direction. But it slowly moved over to alkaline! And when it did, my discomfort level dropped! WOW! What a finding! The measured pH was directly correlated with my pain level. But it took lots of discipline and regimen to keep the pH in the proper range.

After seven years of asking, searching, inquiring, and experimenting, I had achieved some results without medications. The more I looked for related information, the more I realized was out there. But it wasn't the doctors, nurses, corporate nutritionists, health and wellness officers, or esteemed professionals that moved me in the right direction. Frequently I received poor advice or advice contrary to what would help me. Everyone had an opinion. And a different one. Many times, it was folks who, because of pain and disease, had the imperative to seek out a healthier diet alternative that were helpful with new tidbits of useful anecdote. And they were willing to share their useful knowledge and experience.

After six months. my pain level was consistently low at about a 0.5 on a scale of 1 - 10. I inadvertently ran out of grapefruit for a week or two and my pain level dropped even more. I stopped the grapefruit in the diet. Green tea was also recommended as alkaline-producing so I added that back in as my one alternative hot drink substitute. As an experiment after six months, I relaxed my strict diet regimen a little bit to see how robust my recovery was. When going to a restaurant, I was able to order something normal on the menu without fearing a relapse of symptoms. But I realized that I didn't need as much food and that I could reduce the portions I desired. I could enjoy some other "normal" foods as a special treat, not as a routine food requirement. Some have recommended that using an "80-20 rule" is useful: 80% alkaline-producing foods and 20% acid-forming foods.

Over the last two years of this Journey, I was able to lose 20 pounds and generally maintain weight even with a fairly sedentary office-type job. The primary goal during this pain-filled interval was not to lose weight but to manage through the symptoms of pain and discomfort.

Now, my aches and pains are more related to exercise and doing projects around the house. Maybe a little due to age. I can do physical projects again. The chronic pain, inflammation, redness, and tenderness in the joints, muscles, and deep bone pain is mostly gone. The discomfort seems more related to using muscles I haven't used in a while, which is OK. Chronic fatigue and discomfort are not part of my Daily Walk.  I can bend down, and kneel. And get up again. I am occasionally unsteady on my feet but much improved. But I remember.  I guard against the acid-producing foods in the diet.  It is a daily remembrance.

I can return to a goal of weight loss. Primarily through food selection, portion control, calorie- expending exercise, and drinking lots of water.

But this Journey has made me realize that I am dying every day. Seven years ago, my body constitution changed where I was not able to utilize the foods that I normally ate throughout most of my life. But I didn't know it at the time. Seven years is a long time to undergo a cumulative disorder. I cannot yet be sure of the longer term consequences, if any. I presume there to be some.

Most of the foods we eat, especially processed foods, allow us to remain alive, maybe with too many of the wrong calories and nutrients. It is deceptive. But we assuage the hunger and move on with our fast-paced lives. Perhaps when we are younger, we can eat these processed foods without immediate consequence. But perhaps they have a longer term effect. What about the preservatives, the additives, the enrichments? The toxins. The acid-producing foods. I know many have gone down this path before me. I know many in America are overweight. There are many that are much more knowledgeable or even fanatical about these things then I am. But I have learned a lot these past seven years. I am dying while I am living. Some moments are just more eloquent in speaking the message to me about the matter then others. This is Living the Moment. This is the Daily Walk. This is part of the Journey.

We never know how much time we have left. Live each day. Live in the Moment. Don't expend energy on things and people that don't matter. Energy and Life Force is so precious to the Journey. Life is too short. This impacts my thinking and my decisions in 2014. It has been a hard road.

The Bittering: The Origins of the Artistic Endeavor and The Creative Pursuit: The Origins

In the saga of Adam and Eve, the Judgment upon all of us was that Man should die. This is a bitter end with a bitter taste. There is nothing sweet about Death. About the only time we honor Death as a Noble Cause amongst the people is when the soldier or policeman or fireman gives their life in the duty and service to others. This is part of the Noble Cause.

And the Judgment also in Life is that Man should live by his Labor in tilling the earth through the sweat of his brow to eat the fruit of the earth for daily sustainment. We must therefore eat to live and, in most cases across world history, mankind has had to live to eat. And the Judgment also assesses that Woman should endure the Pain of childbirth. The fruit of our loins, so to say, does renew us in the sense of sustaining new life from generation to generation. There is new birth and new life. And there is great joy in the conjunction of the loins, so to say. But there is physical pain for the woman associated with the begetting.

There is much activity within the endeavors of Mankind to avoid or change the Daily Labor of physical sustenance. Daily manna doesn't fall from heaven. But we have found ways to get around the labor of daily food gathering.  The gain of riches. The seeking of financial independence. The competition amongst jobs and careers and investments to gain a better salary and income and return on investment. Speculation. Better agricultural practices. The buying and selling of foodstuffs. Building bigger grain bins. Government subsidies of commodities to impact prices. Preserving the food harvest for another day. Additives, preservatives, genetic manipulation of food to increase shelf life, etc. etc.  But we still have to eat to live.

There is much activity within the endeavors of mankind to avoid or change the Pain associated with childbirth. Contraception. Cesarean section. Epidurals. Anesthetics. Surrogate mothers. Choosing not to have a family. But the human family continues to create progeny.

Fortunately, we also have a blessing of Forgetfulness. Generally, we can recover from the Fatigue of labor and from the Pain of childbirth. We don't completely forget in our fleshly humanity because we have our memories of our experiences but the actual pain and discomfort lived in the moment is not enduring. We are fortunate to have Rest from our labor and Recovery from our discomforts. We eat, drink, and are merry. There is an underlying blessing in each of these judgments of Fatigue and Pain during our lifetime, the Satisfaction in our achievements and the Joy of Children. But because of our Mortality, we take nothing with us out of this world, neither family, nor belongings, nor the fruits of our labors.

Entropy. Matter and Energy. The degradation of all things to a lower matter and energy state over time. Corruption. Decomposition. Diffusion. Nothing lost. Nothing gained. It's not to say that the Human Endeavor is not a Work In Progress. I can see what you see when we look around. We fight against the downhill ride every day. We endure our Trials and Tribulations. Although some of us are better at it then others, a Positive Outlook puts a spin on the Human Drama. The elevation and celebration of Human Potential and Achievement is touted. Look what we can do. We each have our Unique Potential. The world has it's Favorites in it's Media Heroes. In politics, business, sports, entertainment, the arts, relationships, nationalistic enterprises, and daily news. It's the Trumpet of Hope and Optimism. Look at us!

Our individual and combined humanitarian labors across the Human Endeavor are not entirely in vain in the battles against Ignorance, Disease, Disability, Divorce, Disillusionment, Disrespect, Poverty, Tyranny, Violence, Oppression, and Death. All the Evil Stuff. We seek to improve and innovate Knowledge, Science, Technology, Medicine, Government, Service to Others, and the Arts. To achieve the generally desired outcomes of equitable and shared Employment, Education, Health, Welfare, Respect for Diversity, Peace, Beauty, and Quality of Life. All the Good Stuff.

And to make the most of our fragile moments of remaining Life itself. This is the Struggle.

To Return...to what was there before the Fall.
To Rest...from our arduous Labors.
To Recover....from our Fatigues and our Pains.
To Revisit...our memories and our visions....where we have come from and where we are going, and where we want to go.
To Resuscitate...to breath life and energy into the Sources and Drains, the daily ups and downs, of the process of living and dying.
To Rehabituate...to become familiar with, accustomed to, and acclimate to the Struggle even again.
To Recapture..the Original State. Again.
And again in Portrait. Positions. Postures. Portrayals. And even Porn.
And again in Landscape. Waterscape. Cloudscape. Treescape. Mountainscape. To Escape.
And again in Still Life. Our stuff. That we make, and we have, and that we can't take with us.
And again in Abstracts. To explore the made-up realities within our heads that don't conform to the visible natural world outside.

This is the Artistic Endeavor and the Creative Pursuit within the Human Endeavor. To focus one's Life Force and Energy to recapture what was there before the Fall. And there seems to be a drive to pour our Impressions from our own individual Methods into an Expression. To do it our way. To tell our story. To be a god. To be as God. Creating. Something of Value. The essence of Life. And of Lasting Things. But it is not creating something out of nothing. That's a mockery. It is only creating from what is already around us.

To capture Innocence, Purity, Honor, Truth, Beauty, Well-being, Time, and Eternal Life.  Probably lots of other good stuff. To pass it forward. To give back. The Work-Around. The Noble Cause. The Artistic Endeavor. The Creative Pursuit. To chase the Old...what is already known. To chase the New...what is not yet known. The Original Idea.

So we each take a Trip in the long Fall. We conduct our Daily Walk along the Journey. Each in our own way, we Recover and Recapture. We seek a Redemption. This is Life.

Amazing Grace: Assurance of the Plan in Times of Change, Uncertainty, and Transition

8 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

Woke up early this Sunday morning.  Mindful of this verse immediately upon waking. My Uncle Jim's favorite verse. Always and frequently quoted during times of uncertainty, change, and transition. Not some things but all things.

 Copyright James E. Martin 2005 James P. Rines Jr.

James P. Rines Jr. declared the whole counsel of God that the sheep might hear His voice. It's been nine years since his passing. He was sent to me. And I was most fortunate to have him in my life.

And from Romans 10:14-15:

14 How shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher?
15 And how shall they preach, except they be sent? As it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!

Copyright James E. Martin 2005 James P. Rines Jr. 1930-2005

Coming up on the anniversary September 28. I was fortunate to be there with him in 2005. There was a lot of change, uncertainty, and transition from September to December 2005 after his passing. I made a lot of personal and professional schedule changes to work through the uncertainties and conflicting commitments during that time. It took a lot of mental toughness and extra effort.

Jim's wife, Elaine, had gone missing on her 77th birthday a few months before Jim died. He died without knowing what happened to her. We did not find her until the following Spring 2006 when some raccoon hunter's dogs treed a raccoon on the remote and secluded edge of the city of Statesville, N.C.  Elaine's bones were at the base of the tree, on the surface, with her keys and remnants of her clothes scattered about that matched her description on the day of her disappearance. With a proper forensic investigation by the authorities, there was apparently no evidence of foul play and we were assured through DNA evidence that it was her. I visited the site afterwards with the investigator.

I believe she had been to that place of rest and respite before. She was a Carolina mountain girl. Loved the natural settings. Disliked the progress of civilization and urban sprawl. This location was away from buildings, and traffic, and the sounds of the city. But within a healthy walking distance from her home. She disliked modern medicine and health methods. Practiced natural, organic, herbal healing methods as an Appalachian woman. If she had intended to go to a natural, forested, peaceful place to die, which she plausibly could have been thinking within her value system, this would have been an appropriate setting. According to my Uncle Jim, she and he had had recent dialog's together recalling their lives and experiences together. Perhaps a mutual reminiscing of the ups and downs of a long married life. Perhaps an unloading of burdens. Perhaps some final, confessional, departing words. Perhaps a departure formulating in her mind to her but not fully disclosed to him. It is hard to say by those of us who remain behind.

Elaine was an artist. When I mowed their lawn and inspected their flower beds, there were white, goose-egg-sized rocks in her yard that matched the nearby stream bed and were scattered amongst the leaf litter on the nearby hillside of her discovered resting place. There were two fallen logs where she could sit to listen to the gurgling stream, the chattering birds, and the rustle of the wind in the leaves. There was a tree canopy above to create a cool, scattered sunlight on the clearings and ferns below. There was a black, plastic landscape bucket with spaghum moss not natural to the area. Suitable when dry to carry about and, when wet, to retain spongy water-filled sustenance while collecting forest specimens to bring home to plant in her gardens. Easier to draw and paint the specimens when they are close.  Easier to enjoy. As she was always wont to do. It may very well have been a favorite forest garden respite for her beside the still waters of a stream. I partly believe she may have gone deliberately to that place in the forest that day. She always had her black poodle doggy, Harper Angus McGregor, or Yippy, with her. Partially blinded, partially deaf, and the smartest dog I had seen to date when I took responsibility for him at my Uncle Jim's death. That day of her disappearance though, she left him behind at the house leashed up.  An unusual practice.

There are still some uncertainties and questions about her last day. Mostly about one important factoid of evidence. For instance, she worked on a cash basis and carried cash with her.  Her purse was never recovered. The one remaining fact to be ascertained. If I knew that the raccoon hunters recovered the handbag and purse but just didn't report it, then that would add to the credence of the assertion that no foul play occurred on the day of her demise. But if they truly never took the purse, then it's plausible that someone else did. Perhaps after her demise and then never mentioning it because of the scene and the money. No one would ever know if one just took the purse and left.

Or perhaps some one took it the day she died. On Social Security check day. The day she walked to her Secret Garden. The day she walked past a somewhat rough part of town to get there. The day of her demise. Maybe someone knows more. All these things and more are really another epic story.

I was so fortunate that my Mom was there to assist and to counsel with me in the ensuing months of Jim's and Elaine's passing and to have wonderful conversations with her about all sorts of things during Mom's remaining years.  My Mom was Jim's little sister. Mom was Elaine's roommate in bible college. My Mom passed away in June of this year. These are my people. Some of the nearest and dearest to my heart. The most influential in my life's work and meaning.

So as I have been traversing the valley of the shadow of death these past years....

Internet Fair Use - Psalm 23

I don't really recall grieving my people. There was so much to do along the way. I have been about Duty these past years. There was my family, my children, and my employers, my employment, and unemployment. I have been working through Discomfort and Disability to understand the underlying causes. The unforeseen infirmities invoked lapses of capability that the doctors, nurses, nutritionists, wellness officers, and health advisers were not able to diagnose or remedy with their advice. I had to get that figured out on my own. Perhaps, I now understand the causes and the fixes. I have had thirty days of relative pain-free walking. I have returned to working some projects around the house. It has been an arduous mental and physical journey. A battle within the Inner Realm. The Daily Walk. For nine years.

I think it's time to grieve. And remember. And record. And consider how these things have shaped my Path over the last several years and how they should, can, or will shape my Path forward. And then continue on the Daily Walk. Living the Moment. On the Endeavor. On the Pursuit. With Chiascaro effects. And with Duty. And on all the Projects assigned to me by Executive Sponsors. On the Journey. In a strange land.

All things work together for good....

The Last Day: My Final Thoughts

Been at my current employ for two years. Put a courtesy call into the guy that hired me since he is at another location. He is the reason I came to work for this employer. On Thursday, I had indicated to management that I was not resigning at this time, did not have a new job lined up, when I found one I would give them at least a two week notice but I was giving them a heads-up that I had made the decision for myself that the company and I were no longer a good fit and I would start looking elsewhere. I was giving them time to perhaps place me aside on a lesser project and coordinate an orderly transition in a timely manner to their benefit. On Friday, after some discussion, we negotiated the end of my employ as of yesterday. I had a unique flash start. I had a unique flash stop.

It is, to say the least, bittersweet. Good people. A novel enterprise. A noble purpose. Some innovations on how to build a business. But it is probably past the time to move on for many reasons. From the perspective of both sides, I think.  I pray the Exit meeting on Monday executes smoothly.

I know this employ was God-given. For many reasons along the way. Right from the start, I was provided for in a unique way. To some degree, it was really just a contract consultative position. Worked in a multidisciplinary manner on many things. Saw and experienced some amazing things. Gained some additional insights. Met some amazing folks. Stellar, in fact. Early on with the advice of, let's call him, my Action-Oriented Mentor, I was able to identify my next best role and responsibility in my career. My best fit. My dream job. The role I have been preparing for most of my life. It didn't have a name until he spoke it. I was able to see the future when it was spoken and discussed. But the door wasn't open at the time. It never opened over the last two years. I had ample opportunity to practice my necessary skill set throughout this employ with that objective in mind.  I was able to add some tools to my toolkit. But in an environment that was almost always blocked and impeded.  It was wonderful.

But I have the sense that something else is being prepared for me. Perhaps to practice these things again but in an environment that is not as frequently impeded. With an Executive Sponsor who has the known Demand for what I am willing and capable and motivated to Supply. Simple economics. It's just business.  I anticipate. I will seek. Perhaps with Providence, I will find. Lord, enlighten and enable the Chiascaro Path.

This also is part of my Artistic Endeavor and Creative Pursuit. These observations influence my art and my expression. Is this Symbolism? Is this Outsider Art? Today's entry is left brain-right brain-whole brain stuff. Lots of neural activity in the corpus callosum today. I am a Journeyman in a strange land.

I have been a program or project manager for many years. Those endeavors have been either strategic or tactical. I have worked at all levels of the organization at different times or at the same time to accomplish the goals or objectives of my executive sponsors. Many different businesses. Many different styles. Many different disciplines of focus. Generally, I have been successful in those project completions. Not perfect, though. Not always. Enough to feel good about. I made a difference along the way.

When I came to this company, there were many project managers doing many different things. I wanted to characterize and evaluate what I was seeing. As a program-project engineering manager early in my career and with my background as a classically trained industrial engineering-psychologist and human factors engineer analyzing the interactions of people with the objects in their environment to perform a mission, I had leveraged an organizational process model for what I will call in today's context: Project Manager C3E2.

Competency: Knowledge, Ability, Skill, Experience (KASE) of the individual contributor
Capability: The combined Competencies of the team to deliver on an objective function, team purpose, or enterprise Core Competency such as a Project or Program Management Office (PMO)
Capacity: The total throughput or flow of the Capability
Effectiveness: The degree of focus and aim of the Capability and Capacity on the target objective or mission
Efficiency: The productivity of the Effectiveness over time and the amount of Waste incurred

But what are the essential elements or Core Competencies to be measured in Project Management? There are many views and perspectives on this on the www and in the professional societies.  Some in vehement diatribes about best practices. Based on my many years of prior practice, and then at this company based on the immediate need, I quickly formulated the following mental model for the Value Flow of the project management process to evaluate what was going on around me. The plus signs denote a spigot, so to say, for Value Flow that when turned on, is a Maximize/Optimize function.  For instance, for the parameters below, let's add more Connectedness. The minus sign denotes a Value Flow spigot for a Minimize/Optimize function. For instance, when turned on, let's decrease blockers, impediments, and risks. The equal sign denotes a Target Objective function with the intent to maximize or optimize Managed Results: based on the relative contributions of the inputs.

+Connectedness
+Commitments
+Communications
+Coordination
+Collaboration
-Blockers, Impediments, Risks
+Capture Opportunities
+Closure
= +Managed Results

What does this model connote? This is a flow model. We turn the spigots, as Sources and Drains, to increase or decrease certain inputs to the model to achieve the maximum or optimized Value Flow out of the pipeline. In order to achieve maximized or optimized Managed Results, project management should adjust the faucets, the Sources and Drains, as follows:

(1) Maximize/optimize Connectedness of the Stakeholders in the organizational framework
(2) Identify, negotiate, strengthen, and holdfast to Commitments among the Stakeholders
(3) Enhance Communications among the Stakeholders in the network
(4) Increase Coordination among the Stakeholders (getting things into alignment with others)
(5) Increase Collaboration among the Stakeholders (working together)
(6) Decrease and remove Blockers, Impediments and mitigate Risks
(7) Increase the Capture of Opportunities
(8) Increase Closure. Finish. Get to Done done. Get feedback in a Retrospective. Use Lessons Learned.

My two year tenure at this company allowed me to verify and validate the use of this simple model. I was also fortunate to find some academic literature and research to back up the component elements.

A failure to do these things, meant substandard project management performance and a reduced outcome for Managed Results. A reduction in Connectedness, Commitments, Communications, Coordination, Collaboration, Capture, and Closure, as well as an increase in Blockers, Impediments, and Risks, pretty much always resulted in a lesser outcome and degraded business performance. If I couldn't "move the dial" on the inputs by adjusting the Sources and Drains, then I couldn't impact the outcome either.  I could read individuals, teams, projects, group dynamics, and the enterprise quite effectively. I knew which buttons to push. It facilitated root cause analysis. I knew what was on my console and what was on someone else's control box. Pretty much always. The review of individuals, teams, projects, and the business fit the model. I could evaluate the down-streams impacts and effects. I found it quite useful. It is how I evaluated my endgame.

So I shared a lot along the way. Coached and mentored. Personally applied the model again and again. Demonstrated personally to myself that it works. I felt like a Journeyman in a strange land. This was like the great California Gold Rush. Hordes of inexperienced travelers of various experienced professions redirecting their efforts and endeavoring to find their fortunes. A measure of mania. Of occasional panic. Of enthusiasm. Of optimism. Of confidence. Of doubt. Exhilaration. Dismay. Optimism. Pessimism. The wild-eyed roller-coaster of manic depression. All of that wonderful diversity of the human drama.

Crossing the great western uncivilized frontier by land, by sea, by rail. The wide, open expanse by foot, by horse, by wagon, by ship, by any means possible. Across parched deserts, road-less mountains, precipitous valleys, and rushing un-fordable streams and rivers. Miles and miles of fortitude and persistence required. Spending what little we have to start the journey, outfitting the teams, and plotting the journey and the way-points to achieve the final destination. The Great Frontier. The Promised Land. Freedom. Financial security. A better future. The Goldfields. To get there first. And stake the claim.

But there are costs and prices and unseen adventures to this endeavor. By Serendipity, I enjoyed the reading of Precious Dust: The True Saga of the Western Gold Rushes by Paula Mitchell Marks (1994) which influences my current imagination. Dust. Dirt. Filth. Grime. Daily living. Leaving family behind. Wearing out equipment, clothes, and shoe leather. Long periods of isolation. Trudging forward. Waiting. Occasional and sometimes frequent emergencies. Where is the fresh water hole for sustenance and refreshing? Poisoned or parched wells. Cholera. Death, disability, and disease. Sickness and health. Carcasses of people and beasts of burden lost along the way. Lack of supplies. Lack of clear access. Lack of available resources. Dialogs and disagreements among the captains of the wagon trains. Indians. Robbers and thieves. Hawkers peddling their goods. Those who serve. Those who expect to be served. Exploiters. The exploited. Beggars. Preachers. Religionists. Atheists. Agnostics. Believers. Unbelievers. Gamblers. Gamers. Opportunists. Humorists. Roughnecks and cowboys. Renegades. Megalomaniacs. Followers. Neophytes. Self-professed experts. Visionaries. Optimists. Pessimists. Artists. Families. Folks of all vintage, country, cast, and hue. Some who turn back. Some who just quietly disappear. Those who go on. Errant signs of direction from those who went before us that can lead us down the wrong path. Ships that sink. Canoes that tip over. Vehicles lost in the torrents. Portage. Ferries and tolls to pay. Discarding the supplies and preparations along the way. Curiously meeting and negotiating with the different, quiet, devout, committed Mormons as they build their righteous, eschatalogical city and offer respite to the travelers in the name of service. Gold-seekers strewing the well-traveled trail of tears with detritus along the path because they no longer have the strength or will to carry the stuff with them any further. This is the Age of Progress in the new land. The new gold. The Boom or the Bust. Technology. The Original Idea. To get there first. And stake the claim.

Lots at stake.  You buying?

Chinese Checkers, Wang Pencil, and TI Chip: Technology, Games, and the Detritus of Life

Several weeks ago, I had picked up a few things at a yard sale. I had taken some quick pics of the items. These had some interest to me at the time, enough to keep them ready in draft form on the blog. The golf pencil from Wang Country Club and the integrated circuit chip from Texas Instruments were in a toolbox of workshop detritus. Someone had valued them and kept them. I didn't notice the items until I got home and went through the details of my purchase.

And I didn't delete these images like some others I had staged.  But I didn't know what to express about them at the time. I pondered their meaning to me over the last few weeks.  With some experiences in the Daily Walk today, and a consideration of the longer view, these objects have more direct meaning to me. And a story unfolds.

The golf pencil? Wang was founded in 1951 and originally headquartered in Cambridge, MA. At its best, it was a $3B company with 33,000 employees. But after the death of its founder in 1990, it filed for bankruptcy protection in 1992, and basically was non-existent as a brand by 2008.

Internet Fair Use - Wang Logo circa 1976

In 1975, I recall my first contact with one model of the Wang calculator in high school. It had the suitcase-sized central processing unit, four individual desktop display keyboards connected by long cables, nixie-tube readouts, some programming capability, and magnetic core memory. It was in the calculator 300 series which went into production in the mid-1960's.

Internet Fair Use - Wang 360 circa 1966-1976

The golf pencil is a remnant of the high-flying days, not of the product line per se, but of the company-associated, personal lifestyle associated with the then-successful brand.

Copyright James E. Martin 2014 Technology and Companies: This Too Shall Pass

The Texas Instruments chip is a bygone technology from another day. Interesting to look at with the numerous electrical leads and window into the chip itself. Someone held onto it. It had meaning to them and was retained in their toolbox.

The chinese checker set was an inexpensive yard sale purchase to play the game with my seven-year-old. She likes traditional checkers so we have learned the chinese checker approach. But many more players than two can race the pieces across the board with strategy and tactics for offense and defense. Just like in a matrix-oriented business organization.

Copyright James E. Martin 2014 Chinese Checkers

Technology changes. Technology companies come and they go. The daily hive of activity buzzes along in self-centered, self-confidence for the future. The games will continue. The pieces will move about the board. The rules of the game may change. Probably a certainty. On my deathbed, little of this will matter. These things too shall pass. But some things will stay the same. There is nothing new under the sun. Just thinking on the detritus of life.